Thank you, tatting friends, for being such an ever-present source of tatting friendship and feel-good energy. I needed it today.
Lately every time I walk into my LYS I walk out feeling utterly demoralized. I do not like this feeling, so I have spent less and less time in the shop.
Today I came home after being treated very poorly as a customer as well as rather brusquely as an independent contractor.
Now I consider myself to be approachable, friendly, accommodating and, yes, overly sensitive. I also am guilty of analyzing a situation to death. That is why I have tried hard to ignore these feelings of demoralization each time they have occurred in the past.
But there comes a point when one cannot brush bad feelings under the rug any longer.
Why don't I cut ties with this shop? I honestly do not know, except that I was responsible for getting tatting materials stocked in and for getting tatting lessons started in the shop.
When I leave my greatest fear is that the shop owner will become the tatting "expert." Or worse, force the needle tatting teacher into a dual roll. Most of all, I do not want the shop owner telling people that I am a bad teacher or that I "didn't meet her standards" when patrons ask why I am not teaching there anymore.
Hey, for all I know, she does think I am a bad teacher. Quite frankly, I do not care if she thinks this, because I know how many people I have successfully taught and will continue to teach. If a person comes to me who wants to learn to tat, I will teach them.
But I also cannot tolerate these demoralizing feelings. (Every time this happens I repeat, over and over, "no one can make you feel bad unless you let them.")
Do I need therapy? Is it a simple matter of leaving the shop behind? Or is there another solution somewhere in between?
I am sorry to post about my pain, tatting friends. Misery is such a strange bedfellow in Tat Land.
"Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows." ~ Shakespeare, The Tempest (2:2)