Sunday, April 14, 2013

Thank you, Tatting Friends

Thank you, tatting friends, for being such an ever-present source of tatting friendship and feel-good energy.  I needed it today.

Lately every time I walk into my LYS I walk out feeling utterly demoralized.  I do not like this feeling, so I have spent less and less time in the shop.

Today I came home after being treated very poorly as a customer as well as rather brusquely as an independent contractor.

Now I consider myself to be approachable, friendly, accommodating and, yes, overly sensitive. I also am guilty of analyzing a situation to death. That is why I have tried hard to ignore these feelings of demoralization each time they have occurred in the past.

But there comes a point when one cannot brush bad feelings under the rug any longer.

Why don't I cut ties with this shop? I honestly do not know, except that I was responsible for getting tatting materials stocked in and for getting tatting lessons started in the shop.

When I leave my greatest fear is that the shop owner will become the tatting "expert." Or worse, force the needle tatting teacher into a dual roll.  Most of all, I do not want the shop owner telling people that I am a bad teacher or that I "didn't meet her standards" when patrons ask why I am not teaching there anymore.

Hey, for all I know, she does think I am a bad teacher.  Quite frankly, I do not care if she thinks this, because I know how many people I have successfully taught and will continue to teach. If a person comes to me who wants to learn to tat, I will teach them.

But I also cannot tolerate these demoralizing feelings. (Every time this happens I repeat, over and over, "no one can make you feel bad unless you let them.")

Do I need therapy? Is it a simple matter of leaving the shop behind? Or is there another solution somewhere in between?

I am sorry to post about my pain, tatting friends. Misery is such a strange bedfellow in Tat Land.

"Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows." ~ Shakespeare, The Tempest (2:2)


Cindy said...

So sorry to hear - sounds like a tough situation! I have to say, my LYS is not a place I love to go either. They are not very warm and welcoming - like quilters and tatters! You will find the right approach by just being YOU. Keep smiling :)

Cindy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
IsDihara said...

Thank you, Cindy, for your compassion and kindness.

Hubby says that I haven't really worked for the shopkeeper in about a year, since there haven't been any shuttle tatting courses. So I shouldn't feel at all bad about leaving the employ of that shop.

The only assistance I have provided is for the monthly tat-alongs. It is FABULOUS to have monthly tatting socials to encourage students to keep tatting. That is why I do it.

Anyway, it means SO MUCH, your kind words.

Julie Romero said...

I just want to offer encouragement, I have no answers as I am terribly sensitive myself...but I will say that I thoroughly enjoy your posts and your humor always amuses and I am quite sure I would love to take part in one of your classes as your tatting and knowledge there of is of impeccably high quality.

Ladytats said...

That is what friends are for, to listen to your thoughts, good and bad. I can't tell you what to do, that is for you to decide, but if you are consistently unhappy with things as they are, then you should seriously think of change. Can you start working at a different venue for classes or find somewhere else to have a tatting get together?
The other option is to tell the shop keeper how you are feeling, maybe they don't' realize what they are doing? Best wishes for a good resolution.

Jane McLellan said...

It would be a shame if you had to stop helping tatters, but hey, why should you put up with being treated badly? Maybe you could offer lessons somewhere else?

Margarets designer cards said...

I feel your pain, it's bad when you get someone like that, I think when she's not listening, say to the other tatters would they like to meet up some where else with more room say a nice cafe, as they can all tat they don't need lessons so to speak.
I was asked to do tatting lessons for the local craft shop when I was better but when I tried to get it going nothing happen, so now I can't find anywhere at the moment to do lessons, but I will in the meantime I only buy what I need but they don't sell any thread I need so they lose out as I buy it on line and know I get the best thread I can.
If she does other lessons in the shop how about having a chat with the other ladies who do them and see if they get treated the same, it may not be just you, she could be treating everyone like it.
Put a smile on your face, lift your head up and walk in, she won't know what you are thinking inside but with a smile on your face it will do more to her than you. Smile and walk away from her no need to talk unless you have to and see what she does, make her come to you.

Lace-lovin' Librarian ~ Diane said...

That's a tough one. My mom would say, kill them with kindness. They'll wonder what you're up to, and the other customers in the shop will appreciate your positive attitude. My mom is much nicer than I am. I would walk out the door and never look back!

P.S. - I have no LYS. The closest one is about an hour away.

IsDihara said...

Thank you, THANK YOU, tatting friends! I awoke to find a great wealth of supportive comments waiting for me (as well as a lovely Google Talk message from a tatter) and my spirit is rejuvenated by your great kindnesses!

Diane, I had to smile at your mom's approach because my mom says the same thing. Kill them with kindness! But the temptation to just walk out has more of an instant gratification appeal. ;-)